Please note, this is the second part of a 3 blog series. Go HERE for part 1.
So you like the idea of not adding ‘exercise’ to your to do list just yet right? Awesome. But are you ready to make some different kind of changes? Some changes that might not feel possible at first?
I remember back to potty training my son. I put it off for months. The women at his nursery told me he was ready but I said, 'No no it’s Christmas, I’ll wait till that’s over'. Then in January we moved house, 'I’ll wait till he’s settled' I said. Then in March I was due our next baby. 'I’ll wait till after she’s been born' … and so it went on till nearly 9 months later, I bit the bullet and finally potty trained him a week before his 3rd birthday. He was fully dry, day and night within 3 days. He was soooooo ready! Poor kid. Poor environment, all those wasted nappies!
Anyway, what’s this got to do with resolutions? Basically it was all in my head. I didn’t take action because, well, I couldn’t be bothered (fact!). It felt so much easier to just keep him in nappies. I couldn’t face the emotional element of letting his babyhood finally go and I especially couldn’t face mopping up all that wee.
The same goes for us, our ‘personal development’. We may have to let go of some ideas and behaviours that help us feel safe but are also keeping us small, not allowing us to grow. We need to be prepared to ‘mop up’ the mess of our lives and our thoughts and clear out some ‘stuff’ before we move on to something bigger and better.
Are you ready for THAT? Then here are some NEW New Year’s Resolutions to get you started…
1. Spend time alone every day. No phone, no TV, no book. Alone. Just you and your thoughts. Meditate, pray, journal. Whatever floats your boat just allow yourself a few peaceful moments every day. Wake up early, go to bed late or just take some time during your lunch break to completely ‘log out’ of the world of doing and talking and consuming and just BE.
While you’re there I want you to listen to the whispers of your soul. What is it that you really need right now? Sleep? Friendship? Movement? Nourishment? A hug? Deeper connection with your loved ones? These all come up strongly for me. What comes up for you? THIS becomes the basis for your life change.
2. Be more selfish. When we put everyone else’s needs before our own we are essentially telling ourselves and the world (including our kids) that we are worth - less. When we say yes to every invitation that comes our way, and no to more help – when we frequently miss breakfast because we’re too busy dealing with our child’s request for a different spoon – we are telling ourselves, and the world, that we are worth – less.
So, make your breakfast first. Go take your shower and ‘alone time’ as soon as your husband gets back from work. Get to bed early when you need to. Book a night out with your friends. Take an exercise class, go to meditation, visit your family, ignore the pile of washing and sit down with a cup of tea instead. Stop working and be a stay at home mum or start working and put the kids in nursery. Whatever it is that YOU need, having listened to the whispers, to start showing up more for yourself this year.
3. Change your language. Start to notice when you’re making excuses that feel like reasons. Ask yourself, ‘How could I view this differently?’ "I’ve not got enough time" could become, "I would have more time if I asked my partner/friend/boss to XYZ …. And if you feel uneasy about asking them to XYZ, then perhaps you need to do some more digging and find out WHY.
When you’re feeling on autopilot. When your days are just spinning past in a whirl of stress and sleeplessness and biscuits, and you find yourself saying, I CAN’T DO THIS ANY MORE! Stop, take a breath and go back to step 1.
So now you have a choice. Like Neo in the Matrix you can either choose the blue pill, and go back to living your life as you always have done. Trying the same old solutions to the same old problems. Tell yourself that you’ll try harder this year and join a gym, buy less chocolate, only drink wine at the weekends, go to bed earlier, shout less at the kids, talk more with your husband etc etc.
OR you can do what Neo eventually did, and choose the red pill….
PART 3 COMING SOON ...